It’s an age-old question: why do men fear painting wood? I can’t tell you how many times the following has occurred: I have a color consultation with the lady of the house. There are some horrible 1970s-1980s pieces of wood furniture, dreaded fake paneling in the den, or dated wood cabinets in the kitchen.
After discussing budget and options, the lady and I come up with a frugal but dramatic plan that includes painting said bad furniture or paneling. I show her relevant photos to build her confidence in our choices. Lady is thrilled, I leave, she calls me the next day and says her husband vetoed painting the wood. Vetoed? What is he, the President of the United States?
I’ve learned my lesson. Now when I know there might be wood paneling involved, I insist on the husband being present for the consult. Surely, I can make him see the error of his ways! Well, sometimes I can. Other times, not so much. What’s interesting to me is that men have difficulty articulating WHY they don’t want to paint the wood! Is this primal? Genetic? Hormonal?
So I’ve been asking men all over the same question: why are you so resistant to painting wood? Here are some of the responses I have gotten:
1. “You should never paint good wood.”
Uhhh, do you call thin 1970’s fake paneling “good” wood? It’s not even real wood, is it? Just wood-like. Woodish. I can understand not wanting to defile the real tongue and groove heavy-duty stuff (I’m not completely heartless), even though I might try to talk you into painting that, too, if it’s holding back the overall design.
2. “It’s just not right. It compromises the integrity of the wood.”
Well, if you put it that way . . . OK, do you really believe that painting wood is immoral? A crime against nature and all that is natural? Can knotty pine feel pain? I guarantee you that this kitchen was in a lot more pain before I got my hands on it:
before
And my favorite:
3. “You can never go back once you paint wood.”
Why would you want to go back? To 1972???? I have never known anyone to strip the paint off of painted wood paneling once it’s been done. And I’ve NEVER heard of anyone in the last 35 years running out to Home Depot as soon as they close on their brand new home to purchase some fake dark wood paneling to install in their den.
before
That’s about it. Those are the best arguments I’ve heard. So I guess I have to delve into their psyches and take my best guess as to the real reasons underneath it all (my husband HATES it when I do that). I have no doubt it is in large part due to testosterone and DNA. Hunters don’t paint their hunting lodges, do they? And I suppose some men have fantasies of living off the land or in the woods, for at least a week or two. No mountain men ever painted a tree stump they used to sit on while they skinned their meat.
Guys, you can still have your man cave! But with a little style and personality, like the transformation I did for my hubby:
before
Most men don’t like the idea of not being able to see the grain of the wood, which is covered up once painted. Is there some coorelation to preferring women naked rather than clothed, even though clearly most of us look better clothed?
It’s still somewhat of a mystery to me. But rest assured that I will continue to try to understand why men fear painting wood. And I will continue to stamp out those fears and seek to beautify the earth. With a fresh coat of paint.
Photo Credits: CoHoMdUS, The Decorologist (2,3,6,7,11,12), HowStuffWorks, GraphicsSoft, YoungHouseLove (8,9), Country Living, Flickr, MyHomeIdeas.
Love It!!! 🙂
I am Laughing so hard…. this is sooooo true…
:))) thanks for this!
You need to take after pictures in the paneling room here. Let me know when you can stop by.
daniel, i’m working in donelson next week one evening – maybe I can pop by to take “after” pics!
Oh if I knew what I was doing I would paint- I wouldn’t even consult Greg.
Oh Kristie, you are SO on target! When I was a designer with Ethan Allen in Lubbock, Texas – home of wood paneling, pine kitchen cabinets and wood trimmed upholstery!!! this was a weekly challenge. Not so much since I have returned to the Nashville design arena. But it seems men will be men will be men wherever they live . . . great job! Mitzi Leigh
Thanks for stopping by DivineDistractions and leaving a comment. It’s really appreciated! After reading your post, clearly we are on the same page!!
The photos say it all, KB. You know I agree 100 percent! I really would like to understand it — then I could rule the world.
so glad you contributed to Hue- such a juicy topic and an excellent article! Thanks again 🙂
Loved your article! My parents were visiting this weekend and I was just telling my mom how you wanted to paint all our wood furniture and the wood walls and how Robert was having a cow!! ha ha! He actually likes the off white trim in the addition now! Thanks for the suggestion. When can you come back? I need to pick out bedroom curtains!!
LOOOOOOVED this post. That is all!!!!
You speak volumes of truth in this post. The man of the house never wants us to paint the wood but they are always so happy in the end after we paint it.
yes, why don’t they just trust us??????
Great topic…… You know how I know that I’ve got a good man ? He asked me if I’ve ever thought about painting the kitchen cabinets ! He’s a keeper.
You DO have a good one, Tammy! Hang on to that one 🙂
Awesome post! haha, I’m so glad you included it in my linky party!
x
Maria
thanks maria! 🙂
Just LOVE it! I got a chuckle ’cause it’s so true
AMEN, sisters!!!!! OK, forget trying to figure out why. How do you change their minds?
You are such a HOOT, Kristie! Love this post :>
Love it! Men are from Mars… which apparently is covered in paneling!
HILARIOUS, Molly! That’s the cleverest comment I’ve had in some time 🙂
The room you made for Philip is stunning!!! You exude talent!
Men do not like wood paneling, at all! The man did say good wood right? We appreciate the hard work invoved in the creation (solid wood prefered). The hours of dedication are shown in each and every cut. Now lets talk about quality in a comparison:
1. Wood ply paneling = Yugo, Geo Metro, fake gold, tacky jersey wife, flip flops
2. Oak, Pine, Poplar = Ford Taurus, Mercedes C class, Gold band & diamond ring, PTA mom, Nikes;
3. Mahogany, Rosewood, Walnut = 1958 Ferrari 250 GT, F-35 jet, Moon rock ring, Sarah Mclochlan, Stilettos…
Paint is fine If you know where and why you should paint. If you cover up $300,000 worth of Walnut with $60 worth of paint people (not just men) will question your ability to make real decisions. So whom do you sacrifice for? I know you like to color but keep in mind someone has to make the coloring books;-)
Very interesting! Keep making those coloring books for us 🙂 But seriously, I have never proposed painting over $300,000 worth of Walnut. Ever. I’m mostly dealing with people with ranch homes built in the 1960-1970s, so we are not talking about high-end paneling. Usually, it’s not even real wood! Thank you for your well-thought-out comments – I love the quality comparisons you drew!
I too would rather paint cheap paneling. (But yes, even some of the ‘cheap’ 60’s and 70’s paneling was real wood.) You have to realize that even cheap laminate that’s put on furniture is real wood…it’s just very,very thin.
However, that being said, I too have seen so many homes stuck in yesteryear because of highly dated wood. Not that I’m necessarily an expert on men’s thoughts, but I think a lot of men don’t want to paint paneling not because they fear losing the look of wood, but rather because they’re afraid of change. (And I’m not talking about beautiful walnut or cherry.)
I usually counter the “don’t paint wood” with “Even if its painted it’ll still be wood.” Yeah…it works sometimes 😉 Where I live, homes are SO overdone with oak, oak, oak and ONLY a honey oak stain at that, I just cringe every time I see it! I say if you’re going to use oak because it’s inexpensive compared to other hardwoods, at least get a different stain…or consider painting it. Yikes 😉
I loved All Normal Men’s comparisons too.
My husband has an aversion to painting wood because he believes once it’s painted, he’ll always have to paint. Plain wood, to him is maintenance free. Of course I disagree, it still needs to be cleaned from time to time.
Oh, no! How can you be so right!!! I want to paint the 1971-vintage mahogany veneer (real mahog, just very thin) in my kitchen. I’ve loved it for 20 years but I’m out, out, OUT of love with it now! and you guessed it, my fella says “it’s going to be very hard to do, a lot of work, what about all the prep, I don’t think you’ll be able to cover it up….” That wood is keeping my kitchen 40 years behind the times! It’s going! Anything you can tell me about preparation before painting would be greatly appreciated!
The makeovers are so gorgeous!!! I wish I could defile all the wood in my rented home now. The most painting I could do was on some ikea ivar shelves. :/
i love that you want to “defile” the wood in your rental! too funny 🙂
Hi kristie. Just wanted to say I love all your ideas. I don’t think there is anything wrong with painting a piece of wood furniture or panelling(especially to update the look of a room). To all the men out there, I have a one-two punch for you:pretty soon I plan on painting a wooden armoire to update it ,&, not only am I painting it,but,the color I have chosen:PINK,BEAUTIFUL,SEXY,LOVELY PINK! I think it’ll make the room look a lot brighter & uplifting. Kristie, you are a breath of fresh air- I absolutely adore you. When we decorate,we should do what appeals to us,&, not worry what designers & others say is inappropriate. If painting some wood improves the overall look of a room,I say:go for it! After all I’m the one who’ll be living in the space(not the designer). Once again kristie,thank you for all the wonderful photos & ideas, & remember: if wood was meant to be plain- I wouldn’t have my wonderful can of pink paint!
thank you, dear! keep on painting!!!!!
I love all the painted “wood” paneling. But did you really have to do that to those lovely knotty pine cabinets? I would cry if I bought that house and had to scrape off all that paint that I just paid extra for.
Missy,
In my area of the country, houses with knotty pine cabinetry are NOT selling. In order to sell the house, it’s necessary to paint it because sellers will walk right out when they see it! Of course, there are some that do like knotty pine, but they are in the tiny minority – sorry!
An an interior designer also…I agree wholeheartedly with painting the ugly and outdated knotty pine. It just doesn’t marry well with anything contemporary (think granite countertops and stainless appliances) nor does it look right in anything that isn’t country, or rustic. If antlers look better above the fireplace than a big screen, then maybe you might be among the few that like men’s taste(or lack thereof….sorry!) To me, it is just too unrefined as I tend towards polished elegance and like the look of luxury. However, this all reminds me a lot of my older brother who has way too many opinions for his own good. My sister-in-law capitulated too much to his taste and now his millior dollar home is decorated with lots of arrowheads and giant indian statues. If you have a log cabin on the outside and you are in the mountains, then OK….but if not, know you are choosing something that, like Kristie said: A) FEW women like.. and B) is very outdated….as in circa 1972!
Missy,
I hear yeah. If you live around the New England area (especially Maine) you would find a mob of angry people if you started painting their lovely, beautiful knotty pine cabinets.
-Mark
Wow, nice example of confirmation bias! There are also plenty of women who don’t like the idea of painting wood, but you only notice the dudes, because you already have it in your head that it’s a “guy thing.” Furthermore if it’s *not* real wood and it’s garbage, why the f would you leave it in place and paint over it? Tear it out! I don’t think the real question here is why “men” fear painting wood; it’s why you fear taking out the trash.
Ha! I love this! My father in law said to me one time, what do you think they make stain for??? Like there is a wood police out there making sure all the crappy wood is protected from paint! I have peices of furniture I would never paint, but I would never restain them either!! He wouldn’t know great wood if it hit him!
Well-said, Bonnie!
Nice job Kristie of slipping in an extra-bold step! LOL. In case no one caught it: painted red brick!! I live in a small cabin with a huge red brick chimney around the woodstove. Men and women tell me, “No, no, no, don’t paint over your beautiful red brick, you can’t go back.” Mostly men were against painting our real wood paneling. Finally last month, after 3 decades of dark wood, we painted a back kitchen wall and 2 windows (cabinets were already painted). Hallelujah, what an improvement.
This was just run (re-run?) in the Tennessean and I was glad to see it. I had no idea this was a widespread phenomenon, I thought I was suffering alone. This is going into the file for the impending kitchen upgrade. Why my husband thinks eighties -era builder grade kitchen cabinets were fine carpentry, I have no idea!
so funny! (and true!) i hope you don’t mind if I link to this post.
sure, kasey! link away 🙂
When I saw this title I had to click on it. Last summer I helped a friend clear out a house and in it was an old carved buffet cabinet. The person was a smoker and it reeked to high heaven. I thought of our daughter in her sparsely furnished starter apartment and decided to bring it home and paint it a nice color. I figured that by painting it I could get rid of the horrible smell and make it look funky and fun. Maybe add some new hardware. My husband threw an absolute tantrum. He was so mad at me for even suggesting that I was going to paint this wonderful treasure with REAL CARVING on it. Oh my…it wasn’t like I asked HIM to paint it or anything. He was just sickened and appalled at what I was going to do. It caused a huge fight that kept going on and on…as the piece sat in “his” garage. (Yes, he considers the garage “his”) I relented and told him “fine, but that thing is never coming into my house. It is horrible smelling and I hate the dark wood and I have no place to put it…so…do whatever you want with it.” Within a month he had moved it into our dining room! The entire house smelled like smoke and this was in the summer with windows open. It was making me feel sick. I finally had someone help me move it back outside and once again told my husband that it can’t come in. It is still sitting out there taking up so much space in the garage that I will never be able to get my car in there and it’s almost getting to snow season. He probably has calculated that after having to dig my car out a few times I will let him bring it into the house, but he has another thing coming. I will walk or call a cab if I have to, but no possible way is that thing coming into the house. We will never come to an agreement on it. I’m so sorry I ever brought it home. I knew he would object to painting it, but I didn’t know that I couldn’t win. It is better to have a garage that smells like smoke than a divorce, however If he ever brings it inside again I will take an axe to it.
Great article Kristie…and so funny! Boy is there truth in humor. You are so talented at staging and writing and I’m so glad you do both. I really enjoy your blog because I learn a lot and I laugh a lot!
Thank you so much, Nancy!
I ADORE this article! SOOO right on the money. I have a client right now where I am in the same situation! There were some instances I felt he was right, and she was wrong and vice versa. In these before and after pics
http://dichotomyinteriors.blogspot.com/p/before-afters.html
from the last two major reno’s- the first set of before and afters is a home that NEEDED more warmth and wood. It was all tile, white/cream and gray and closed in. I added a TON of wood here, because of the volume of the ceilings and windows to keep it from feeling too much like a gallery. I also opened up the kitchen and within, I refrained from using ANY wood except the feature wall and wine rack.
On the 2nd set of photos (Mountain Retreat) I did the opposite. The whole place was soooo dark and dreary. I painted over the paneling etc. to lighten the whole place up. You couldn’t even see some of the details this home had before painting the wood. Instead of removing and replacing with drywall, I chose to paint over to maintain some of the rustic texture in the grain of the wood.
Megan,
Really beautiful work!!! You gotta know when – it’s not always black and white with these decisions, right? You obviously made the RIGHT decision for your clients 🙂
I’m a man – a student, and I think your comments are a bit ridiculous. I just stumbled here because all I can afford is crappy wooden furniture and I’m hoping to make my home look a little better than that. There are many reasons to be nervous of painting wood:
– a childhood of sanding wood for chores. Horrible horrible stuff. Paint is only worth it if you NEVER EVER go back to bare wood.
– I think that naked wood is beautiful. Something about something more connected to nature and less to man.
– IF it is beautiful wood, once you paint it it might as well be as cheap a wood as you can find. No one would know.
That being said wooden panelling looks god awful.
Random rant…
You had me at "I guarantee you that this kitchen was in a lot more pain before I got my hands on it."
Great article and very helpful as my wife and I contemplate what to do with our vintage 1979 split level full of wood paneling and trim!
Oh my goodness! Thank you! I feel like you wrote this article for me. My fiance and I have had numerous arguments about painting wood! As I love painting dated furniture and timber trim when it makes a room look dark. He is against, I for… however, just the other night, he took me by complete surprise by SUGGESTING, "Maybe we should paint the kitchen cupboards that duck egg blue colour you like." I nearly spat out my coffee in shock. "Okaaay," I said measuredly, in that quiet gentle tone way one uses with a frightened puppy. "We can do that." So, after years of dark kitchen cabinets, they might just now be light and fresh. Stoked.
Yay! You have reason to be stoked – painting those cabinets will change your life!!!
My mom had to fight my dad for years before he agreed to “let” her paint their 1970’s paneling, which was in every room of their 2-story house! His arguement was that once you paint paneling, you have to keep painting it. Translation: way easier to have walls that never, ever need anything. Even if they look gross. Which I think is the real reason a lot of men veto their wives decorating ideas – because doing nothing is almost always easier!
Valerie – I believe you may have hit the nail on the head, my dear!!!!
Painting wood can be done very beautifully, but not all wood is created equal. Some wood should not be painted, but not for all the reasons I have heard thus far in this post, but for one simple reason – it’s beautiful. I am a man and I say a nice cherry wood finish should never be touched -it is simply beautiful. The wood grain is important because it is beautiful and unique. Just like each unique person, each piece of wood, with the grain visible, is unique and sets itself apart from the rest. You lose this unique aspect often when you paint. So, am I against painting wood, no, but I am against painting beautiful, unique wood with all its flaws and unique characteristics. By the way, you can’t question one thing – painting could be in today and out tomorrow – but a beautiful cherry stain or alike can be timeless.
-Mark
This is so true! My family room looked like the brick and paneling photo. However, I not only convinced my guy (\after much discussion) to paint the paneling and fill in the cracks, but to paint the brick white. The effects were so dramatic that everyone at our open house loved this room most. Everyone thought walls were drywall and now he brags about the process!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS POST!
I am going to show it to my boyfriend in hopes that he will understand how stupid it is to leave outdated wood on the walls when we could brighten up the space. My boyfriend and I are talking about moving in together soon. He has a small one bedroom house that he owns (while I rent an apartment) and he refuses to move elsewhere. I told him I didn’t want to live in his house because it’s small and looks even smaller than it is because there are dark wood walls in the kitchen and living room. I told him I would move in if we could paint those walls so I could have a fresher space and room to work with when it comes to decorating. His response? “Over my dead body!”
Your article is excellent and captures exactly to issue. I am a man who resists painting. But I can articulate why historically painting is bad. My reason is not relevant today as much, but given what we do not know, it may still be valid today.
Paint is toxic. Unpainted wood, has never been a source of toxic dust. Historically, paint is one of the single most harmful sources for children. It is caused by the lead that was once used in paint. What is in paint today, something better than lead?
In a few years your beautiful painted creations, even if well cared for, will either begin chipping or will need sanding and repainting. If it is done the expensive HAZMAT way then all is good. If not, the dust is a source of concern for all the residents, particularly children. And, all we can do is hope the titanium white is less harmful than lead white.
I think with your talents and skill, you can find a way to include natural wood into your design and make it work. For each image you showed of some dated wood work and your reworked design with paint, I think you could have found a solution that did not include paint. Plus, there is nothing that looks worse than painted cabinet and the worn paint where they close. Wood looks better with wear marks – paint just shows how many times it has been painted with the ‘rainbow’ wear along the cabinet edges.
3AM and I am awake staring at the partially primed knotty pine in our cave… I mean living room. My husband has been angry and stomping around the house like a toddler for 3 days and hasn’t lifted a finger to help me paint the wood. In all my anxiety about going to ‘the point of no return’ I can’t help but to wonder if there is something he knows that I am missing. Am I making a HUGE mistake?
Well Kristie, I have to thank you for this article. I think you are right on target and my husband is just being primal! This not only gave me the reassurance I needed, but lifted me with a good laugh.
Thanks!
Oh, good – I’m glad it helped bolster your confidence!!! Go, Bonnie, go – it will be great and you’ll never look back 😉
Some of those look really lower class. Upper class homes tend to have lots of stained dark brown wood, while lower-class homes use light colors and cloth furniture. You chose examples with fake wood paneling which isn’t real wood anyway. There are plenty of examples of painted homes being renovated into real wooden walling to increase property value in post modern homes. They do this to flip homes all over my area and give it a more rustic look. There is a lot of bias in this article, when both are good in certian situations. Particularly in basements, living rooms, and mansions wood looks good while all paint walls is preferred for bedrooms. So both are great. Lastly, I pray to God my future wife doesn’t like cloth and plastic furniture and prefers leather, wood, and really copper and brass decorations not this plastic white things.
I prefer color, myself. My wife turned me on to the painted furniture trend a few years ago. I’ve done many, many pieces over that time. Not all pieces have been painted but more have than not. To me, painted furniture is about art. It’s about technique. It’s also bold because, as a man, I also have concerns about painting a piece of wood furniture but then I look at my market (women) and think about what motivates a female customer to buy. Answer: emotion. Furniture is more than just functionality; it’s emotional. If a piece of brown furniture doesn’t elicit an emotional response, it requires color to bring out an emotional response. It’s exhilarating to take a dull, lifeless piece of furniture and transform it with color and, sometimes, new hardware. I’ve been painting older, used furniture for over two years now (and selling it). So, men, like what you like; women, like what you like. There’s plenty of room in this world for different opinions, in my opinion. :-))) Enjoy your day!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter, Tim! Excellent!
I absolutely hate this article! All the painted rooms here look like SH!T! I happen to love the warm, rustic vintage look of stained pine, birch, oak…. That room with the orange and green is so tacky, what were you thinking? It looks like Sesame St! That blue is frightening, time to get out the sander! and the white beadboard is garish, I have a headache looking at all that bright white paint! This is a trend that needs to die! All your “after” pictures are awful. You have terrible taste, as most women do.
And I’m sure you are a brilliant and tasteful man, Sean. Ah, my very own internet TROLL . . .
Hi Sean, if you don’t like her ideas, think most women’s ideas are terrible and so vehemently disagree without any logical reasoning, why waste everyone’s time posting awful things? It requires courage to put your thoughts, creations, passions, and yes, even hateful responses live for the world to see online, even 5 years after the post. My stomach churns when I see such blatant disregard for human decency. You don’t like it? Great, we all are entitled to our own opinions and are even invited to share opposing arguments– but man, learn some manners and back up your statements. Didn’t your mother teach you how to zip your lips if you have nothing nice to say? Just move along, buddy. No need to contribute to an already aggressive, cynical, and fragile world. It’s a beautiful day (wherever, whenever, whomever you are- I promise something in your surroundings contains an enormous measure of beauty if you frame it right) Full of loving and creative, gorgeous souls. You are not happy with this site? I assure there are plenty of Web addresses that would love to have you (try Reddit, they grow exponentially with every antagonistic comment).
Would you go into a strangers house and say such rude things to their face? Why does your anonymity allow you moral and social injustice? Permission to speak freely and without consequence is a gift; you are abusing it.
I do realize by writing this reply I am just doing what I’m guessing was the intent of the comment, fueling a fire, feeding the troll. Only, for some reason, here and now is where I decided to say, “Enough. Be happy (or at least mindful of yourself and aim for contented). Be kind (and if that is not in your fiber or make-up, be a jerk alone). And if you can’t, please go away.” Sean, despite your crude response and obvious bigotry, I wish you a swell day where something good touches you.
I read the below linked article a few months ago:, to the haters- I don’t know that it will mean anything to you. For all of your fantastic and courageous bloggers,(I have yet to work up the courage; I obviously need thicker skin, but do have a lot to say and contribute– tips anyone?), especially those willing to let us into the privacy of their homes, projects, and creative process (all sacred)- I hope this link is useful to you and brings you comfort when confronted with…well, idiots. http://www.countryliving.com/home-design/decorating-ideas/a5751/negative-comments-design-blog/
And lastly, Kristie, your site is awesome and inspiring. And your response to Sean was so well handled!
Wow, Erin, just wow. Thank you for that amazing, well-thought-out response that you shared here. I am not a thick-skinned person, but I have learned that when I put stuff “out there,” I might have to hear some ugly criticism every now and again. This one almost made me laugh, honestly. I had a few in the past that truly made me cry, though! One of my designs made a national shelter magazine a few years back, and when I shared it on Facebook it went a little viral (and NOT in a good way). Lots of people said very mean things about my ability, my taste, my work, etc. That’s when I began to realize that most people writing those ugly things don’t really even that there is a person behind whatever it is they are criticizing, or else they have no idea that the person who they are making fun of will ever even see the comment. That’s why I cringe when I see someone share a photo from a magazine website and ask their followers something like “thumbs up or thumbs down?” So cruel and they don’t even know it. One lady commented on a blogpost that I needed a complete makeover if I ever wanted anyone to take me seriously, and that parting my hair down the middle made my nose look even bigger. Nice, right? All that being said – Erin, you are obviously a gifted writer and shouldn’t let fear hold you back if blogging is something you want to take a swing at! Haters gonna hate . . . 😉
Interesting viewpoint in this article. One thingt to point out, hopefully without generalizing too much, is that women tend to follow trends more than men. Painted wood is the current trend just as knotty pine was the popular choice in the 1960s and 1970s. Many men realize that decorating trends come and go. As a result, men are often hesitant to sacrifice the original architectural vision of a house. Forty years from now, women will look around “bland” painted rooms and long for the coziness of natural wood. Why do I believe this? Stained Victorian and Craftsman wood from the 1890s-1910s was often painted in the 1930s and 1940s for the exact same reasons, Beginning In the 1980s, owners of these homes began busily stripping this paint back to stained wood.
Styles and preferences come and go. Right now, mid-century homes are being taken back to their wood-filled roots. The Mad Men designs of the 1950s are finally being appreciated for their importance. We’re already seeing trendsetters embracing knotty pine again. In 30 years, people will likely complain how you turned their beautiful and cozy knotty pine into gluey pastel ice cream. Neither look is “right” or “wrong” – but a preference influenced by designers and decorating books. The only question will be how long it will be before light and bright once again is replaced by dark and brooding.
Michael, you make an excellent point 😉
Here it is, almost 2017, and I STILL can’t talk my husband into painting our kitchen cabinets white. Yes. It IS very nice oak wood. But with that horrible almost orange finish. And super high gloss. Ugghh!!! His excuse has always been “I want to see the wood grain”. He has mentioned white if he can still see the grain. Any suggestions?
As a man, I have no problem painting cheap or ugly wood, or fake paneling. The problem is, I have seen too many people resort to painting beautifully intact, historically accurate stained wood in a period house because “it was too dark.” I have seen the travesty of a glob of white paint slapped on some truly stunning woodwork because the woman of the house was afraid of feeling closed in. For a lot of us, that is the problem. Many women are too eager to jump on the slap paint on everything mentality, while we men appreciate the natural beauty of some great stained wood in an old house. Take a good look at it sometime. It really is beautiful to see a great paneled wall of wood in it’s natural, stained state, and I’m talking about the real stuff; wood that was meant to be stained, not covered in a thick layer of latex.
I’ve heard all of these reasons when I discuss painting our Cherry kitchen cabinets and cherry bookcases in our family room!!
I’ve heard all of these when discussing painting the Cherry cabinets in our kitchen and family room. You nailed it!!
Why are women obsessed with painting wood???!!!This is the most rediculous article ever. Almost as stupid as painting wood trim white.
The main reason men don’t like painting wood is that it looks tacky cheap and twee. It’s what stoned students do to an apartment when they move in…wreck it!! Plus your going to have to repaint it eventually because the paint will degrade and flake off making it look even tackier , painting wood is a Total 80’s style , why are women obsessed With old styles and why are they obsessed with copying everybody else’s mistakes. It’s a total cookie cutter way of decorating it has no class or style. Back in the 80’s when everyone was trying to mimic plaster trim which is more expensive to fit, peplople tried to save money by painting the trim white. But just added to the problems of real painter decorators who would advise against it at every turn!!! You have the taste of a clown!!!
Oh, this made me laugh! Obviously as relevant a subject now in 2018 as it was when you wrote it in 2010! As the owner of a 1917 home that has some trim that has been painted, and some that has not, I can state one thing as fact. I’m always – I mean always – happier in my rooms that have the white trim. They are cheerier, brighter, colorful places and where I spend the most time. My wood stained trim rooms seem so serious and somber, though switching out earth tone accessories and furniture for bright teal and magenta and white has helped, as do the very, very light yellow walls . I think the “hunter lodge” comment nails it, as my male relatives who have most strongly objected when I’ve spoken of making all the trim white tend to be hunter lodge guys. What I find depressing, they find warm and earthy. I will probably never actually get around to painting all that wood work – would be a massive job that doesn’t mean enough to me to go through the pain. However, with the exception of a few lovely antique pieces that truly would be wrong to paint, all my dark wood furniture will someday be transformed to bright cheerful white!
Do you know why men don’t like just willy nilly painting wood white? Its because that wood is expensive in its raw form, and even more expensive to have someone make cabinets with it.. If you want white, go buy ikea white mdf garbage and put it up.. Or cheaper yet, go buy the MDF crap and make your own.. All these new houses with the whites and greys and blacks all have the cheapest (edited) MDF chip board cabinets painted white because its (edited) CHEAP!!!!!
Every (edited) house right now is whites and greys mixed with a touch of black.. every single puking one of them.. Its a fad ladies, a trend.. one which will last 10 more years and you will be asking us to strip that ugly white off back to its natural wood finish.. Why? Because you ladies follow trends..
This is SOOOO my husband!!! He is also a woodworker and really wants to strip ALL of the painted (many, many years worth of paint) woodwork in our 1940 Bungalow back to the original oak. PS we are both physically unable to do this now, but he still wants to argue about having it done. They just never want to give up~LOL!!! 😀
I’m 42 years old. Just got married and bought our first house. And we cannot wait to have all of the interior woodwork, casings, doors, etc, removed and replaced. Why? Because the previous owner of the house (it was built in 1915) decided to paint everything with white latex (which scratches off With a finger).
Real oak trim should not be painted in my opinion. If it is. It should be done with an oil base paint so it does not come off.
I am also finishing a spare room in the basement with guess what??? Stained headboard paneling. So yes. There are people that done even remember the 1970s who want a decor that is not open concept, bright, and white.
We do exist.
Matt, I do agree that painting wood without proper prep and priming is a BIG mistake that can cause future heartache! However, I would think it’d be easier and less costly to strip the existing paint on your woodwork than to replace it all. But that’s up to you, naturally. Please take the article as it was intended when I wrote it (8-10 years ago, by the way). It was a bit tongue-in-cheek, and a pattern I have seen over the last 16 or so years I’ve been doing residential design. And you prove my point: most guys don’t wanna paint wood, period. Thanks for reading and commenting!
Just gonna drop in here as a man and agree completely. I bought a Victorian home in 2017 that had much of the needed work done to it however there was a reasonably large room that was badly water damaged and had been almost sealed off from the rest of the house. I completely gutted it, removing all the horsehair plaster. I then leveled the walls and went to Home Depot and bought everything I needed to refinish it…. In fake wood paneling, I also wall-to-wall carpeted the whole thing in light brown. I also added a bar and furnished it with furniture of that period, yes, even a pole lamp. This became a quest to recreate the dens and rec rooms I remembered as a kid – carpeted, paneled, cozy.
Yes, I was literally questioned by women who worked in Home Depot as they thought I was nuts… I was also asked if I was married. Yes I am and while she shook her head at me working on it, she’s not unhappy with the result. As a trade off, the entire rest of the house it hers to paint and decorate. This room which is accessible only by opening a bookcase, is mine.
Reaction is the same, when couples come over, the wives shake their heads, the guys want to hang out in it. Some of them have preserved such rooms in their own homes through compromise.
People like what they like. I think gray and white is hideously boring and cold. Others have painted their whole interior that way. Real brick and stone, even real wood trim…. all painted, all gone so that it might as well be cheap MDF for all the character it has left.
Love the before & after’ s! I convinced my husband to paint wood by asking him to squint so he barely can see, look at the wood, and tell me what color he sees. Usually it’s “orange” or “brown mustard” etc. Now I asked if he would ever consider painting walls and cabinets and dressers orange. He couldn’t argue with the logical aporoach! Lol! Besides, he does trust me, so that’s a great confidence booster!
We painted, it looks so great, and everybody’s happy!
Diane, what a brilliant strategy! So glad you convinced him. 😉
Your article sounds too much like male bashing and is tacky. The comment about the husband being the President of the United States is utterly ridiculous. Husbands have just as much right to make decor decisions as their wives. Get with it because you sound too condescending.
Hi Dave, I wrote this article over a decade ago. It was totally tongue-in-cheek, I wasn’t really serious.
My husband absolutely loves wood. I used to hate wood panelling and pretty much anything woody in my atmosphere. I’ve grown to love wood beams in the ceiling, and MAYBE ONE WALL of QUALITY knotty pine, but we are buying a house and the WHOLE bedroom is knotty pine. I don’t know how to deal. I feel like there is value in the naked wood, and I’m a female! I asked him if we could strip it and upcycle it or give it to someone else to use, but he says that’s near impossible. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place and I’m feeling unsure how to proceed. I saw lots of white furniture displayed with knotty pine in living room areas on Pinterest, but this is my BEDROOM, and I have children… and animals… so white won’t last. lol I thought about making it *naughty* pine somehow, but I lack the creativity. It just might give off those 70’s-80’s porn vibes or something, but I don’t know how to achieve it. lmbo. I mean, it’s a bedroom, so why not?
Most of the time when someone’s painting wood, they’re just ruining beautiful trim, doors, doorways, windows, cabinets, etc (that could simply be restained if necessary).
If a room has too much wood, you don’t have to paint over all of it. It might feel liberating, but you’re just going to the other extreme of everything painted which is just as bad as too much wood. Houses with painted wood trim/doors/cabinets, carpet covering hardwood floors, etc never sell as fast as houses that don’t slap paint/carpet/crap over every little bit of wood they find, so it’s not always a good investment.
As for living off the land or in the woods, it’s not a fantasy, many men do it. It only takes about two acres of land to feed a family of four (even less if you’re willing to buy flour). Maybe you should get into making a small home garden and growing some tomatoes. It’s nice to have non-GMO food free of toxic big agriculture pesticides (and if you start with good seeds, they’ll taste much better than the average store tomatoes).
Also, the 70s was a horrible time for architecture, art, and aesthetics in general.
https://vimeo.com/128428182
So, I actually landed here because I too feel great hesitation for painting our wood paneling. For one thing, I love rich, dark wood and just feel guilty painting over it. I was searching how to style wood paneling and I found this article. I found it quite an amusing read. It made me think about why I feel apprehensive about it and I think I have figured it out. As someone who is no stranger to diy and renovations, I have spent hours sourcing materials to get the looks I am after. Any wood item you can buy that is stain grade wood cost more (often by a lot) than its paint ready counterpart. I think that knowledge creates the perception that visible wood grain holds more value than something painted. In effect, you are cheapening/devaluing a wood item by painting it. Also, I somewhat agree with the “you can’t go back feeling.” You are right in saying that wood paneling is not in anymore and people don’t want to go back, buy just the knowledge of what it takes to restore wood back to a stained finish (especially if it’s veneer) is enough to give me pause before painting. Maybe addressing the perceived value of the wood and explaining it is actually devaluing their home would make them more comfortable with painting it. Show them how much a value painting it would add. Numbers don’t lie. Cheers!
Great narrative writing! Humor ain’t easy, but you nailed it.
Thank you, Trudy!
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Omg this is so true! I have decided to paint the wood panel in my bathroom, but im not even going to tell my husband, I will do it when he is not home.If I told him what I was doing he would be sooo against it.
Love your humor! I laughed put loud reading this!
Thanks so much!
SWEET JESUS were you just in my home as we are remodeling our bathroom! All and I mean all of these statements came out of my husband’s mouth. FYI the decorator and I won the battle.
You won??? Good for you, girl!