The Decorologist’s Call to Ban the Boob Light!

You know how much I want to help you. I consider this a public service announcement, really. There ARE alternatives, affordable alternatives, to the boob light fixtures that have been prevalent in homes across the land for the last couple of decades. The time has come to BAN THE BOOB LIGHT once and for all! You’re gonna want to PIN this:

 

alternatives to boob light

 

 

Home stagers and homeowners are always looking for on-trend and affordable alternatives to the flush-mount boob light, so I put together some great options from Lowe’s for under $100. No, they aren’t paying me to do this, but they should be!

16 Non Boob Light Options for Flush Mount Lighting

1. Galaxy Ansley 14-in W Ivory White Fabric Semi-Flush Mount Light $79

2. Style Selections Grayford 22.2-in W Brushed Nickel Shades Semi-Flush Mount Light $69

3. allen + roth Yately 8.68-in W Specialty Brass Clear Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $69

4. Galaxy 8.5-in W Brushed Nickel Ceiling Flush Mount Light $69

5. Kichler Lighting Bands 14.02-in W Brushed Nickel Fabric Semi-Flush Mount Light $79

6. Quoizel Marquee 12-in W Bronze Ceiling Flush Mount Light $69

7. allen + roth 8.62-in W Dark Oil-Rubbed Bronze Opalescent Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $45

8. Quoizel Norfolk 11.87-in W Brushed Nickel Clear Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $99

9. allen + roth Eberline 9.06-in W Oil-Rubbed Bronze Ceiling Flush Mount Light $79

10. Kichler Lighting 12.24-in W Chrome Frosted Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $79

11. Quoizel Valentina 15.5-in W Bronze Clear Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $99

12. Kichler Lighting Edenbrook 11.38-in W Brushed Nickel Frosted Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $89

13. Kichler Lighting 12.52-in W Chrome Frosted Glass Semi-Flush Mount Light $89

14. allen + roth 14.75-in W Black/White Standard Ceiling Flush Mount Light $89

15. allen + roth Arctura 7.01-in W Brushed Nickel Metal Semi-Flush Mount Light $39

16. Progress Lighting Inspire 13-in W Brushed Nickel Fabric Semi-Flush Mount Light $68

 

Granted, some of these selections still have the nipple – but the rest of the fixture does not resemble a boob, which is a major part of this travesty of design.

Oh, wait. You know what I’m talking about, right?

Let me remind you:

 

boob light

 

For the love of all things good and decent, please like and share this post to save others from committing this design atrocity.

 

Sign up for my Expert Psychological Stager™ certification course coming up in a just a few weeks. I’ll teach you everything I wish someone had taught me when I started my business 13 years ago! Get on the fast track and have a blast learning all you need to know to stage and redesign homes like a pro:

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Kelly Arent-Copper Roof Interiors
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Kelly Arent-Copper Roof Interiors

Ha ha ha….oh girl..you are So funny….AND so right!!!!

Kelly Arent-Copper Roof Interiors
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Kelly Arent-Copper Roof Interiors

Oooooppppsss….Kristie….I linked my email acct….can you please delete my comment!!! Yikes…talk about giving all my junk away.

JL
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JL

Love this!! I have a few I need to get rid of. Guilty as charged!

Chris Warltier
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Chris Warltier

Hilarious and helpful. Could not agree more! Wish the prices were the same in Canada.

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[…] I’ve updated this post to give you 16 on-trend options to dreaded nipple lights under $100 at Lowe’s. Check out the updated post here! […]

Kay
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Kay

Those fixtures were ugly before I heard them referred to as boob fixtures–your bottom two examples in particular. How could they have become so ubiquitous? Were there no affordable options for decades? I’m happy to say that my house is completely unpolluted by those travesties of design.

Kathleen Duncan
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Kathleen Duncan

Right on! You put into words what I have observed for some time now. Thanks.

You are me favorite decorator.

Aside, I get the sense you are located in Tennessee or close. I am considering leaving my home state,Californis, and admire the homes available in Tennesse. So much character and value. May I ask, is humidity a big factor in your life?

TY, K

Phyllis E
Guest
Phyllis E

I love your selections! It is hard to find nice entry fixtures when you only have 8′ ceilings! A few years back, when I was looking to update our brass entry fixture, I had SUCH a hard time finding what I liked that was small (short) enough. I did not want anything looking like a boob light, though that was very popular then. Another negative of the semi-flush mount boob lights is they are moth catchers!!! Nothing like seeing the shadow of dead moths collecting in the bottom of the glass shade! (When you have to let your pets out… Read more »

Joey
Guest

Virtually every light fixture in this house was nippled. There must have been a sale. We are slowly replacing them. I’m a big fan of #7, myself.

Kelly
Guest

Hilarious and so true!!

Beth L
Guest
Beth L

I agree 100%. There are so many great alternates now!

Laurel Bern
Guest

Thata girl! One boob at a time. lol I noticed too that most of your choices are semi-flush mounts which I think are better light, in any case. The light has more chances to bounce around creating for less harshness.

B. Gayle Hart
Guest
B. Gayle Hart

I got in big trouble referring to these light fixtures as “boob lights and udders” 10 years ago while working for a lighting manufacturer in Ca. We delivered 250 to a new housing project in the Central Valley….I hope everyone has upgraded their lighting by now! Great article, thanks!